I know it has been awfully long since I have written anything but I really do have good reasons. So far this year I have moved out of home, got a car and a kitten, become almost independent except for having an extraordinary sister who assist with things I have not yet learnt to deal with. I have taken on study and work, left the country for the first time, did a month of mission in Fiji, came back and told everyone about it and now life is about to get even more hectic. My future is beginning to be planned and I feel that the end of this year is coming far too soon. The end of this year means things must yet again change and although I am not opposed to change, I don't think I have quite gotten settled from my last flurry and so to change things feels like I shan't be able to recover. I hadn't realised how much tension I had been building inside until tonight. I had been feeling somehow like something was happening so deep that I couldn't find it and I dug it up this evening and now I have had to face it, you see I have organised the rest of my year completely there are still the day to day details that need to be sorted out but I have made sure that for the next four months I know what I need to do and when, my plans are also long term goals before the end of the year I have planned to go to India, go on beach mission, graduate from my gap year program, go apartment hunting with two of my best friends and possibly embark on my first relationship. These are all big dreams and the size of them scares me entirely. I was thinking of the insanity that will be the last two months of the year and for some reason this song seemed to resonate how I was feeling, everything is happening so quickly and I know that I could blink and be in the year 2014 and I am clinging to 2013 with everything I have at the moment. So that is what is happening in my life at the moment, I can't really believe how much I have come through, the changes that have occurred and the person I have become because of it. It's incredible that I could never see myself in this place when being here feels so natural.